im starting to slowly blend in with my concerned classmates. they arent that bad after all..but then, i start to feel the pressure being a student, a rebel child & a friend...excuse me but im not that type of person who would do whatever you command at me cause u know, i have tons of things to do; homework—falling onto my own (summertime) sadness & etc.
like a fool (i am) if i say ive never felt happy and calm, but there are also some days where i felt so unrealistic and unhappy wah i can feel the obvious veins in my eyes are starting to expose themselves as i typed the word happy. didnt know i was this stressed lol. id be lying if i said i had never thought of escaping from this world. no, im not whining but i cant stand all these people who cant stop talking bad bout me. u see, me too, i dont like hearing things i had taught to not desire. its fine if they dont like me but they dont really needa make everyone hates me too. but i genuinely agree that sometimes, i deserve to be not liked bcs i can be so selfish sometimes—all i could think about is how messed up my feelings that are buried inside when other people had it worse.
well, being a human with extremely unstable emotion, i have my own ups and downs and i know that life is full with trials & exams and all i could do is face whatever hardships im in, impetuously, smiling without any vivid feelings. and i do understand that just because im sad now, doesnt necessarily mean that ill be sad forever. everyone has their own excruciatingly sad moments...
failing. depleted.