HAPPY NEW YEAR YALL!!! OMG ITS ALREADY 2015
...lol here comes the guilt for still existing. aaaahhhh!!! two k fifteen arrived too soon omg i cant believe ill be celebrating my sweet 16 in 3 months time lol ok so talking bout new year, all of u must have had new years resolutions right? but im sure most of it are just from ur last years new-years-resolutions list that was supposed to be done in the year bfr last year...which u wrote in 2012 and planned in 2011 bcs mine is like that but i just added in a new one which is "be friends with hot guys" as i never had handsome friends :(2014— it was an awkward year, that i must say. it all started explicitly perfect! bcs december 2013 ended with rainbows and swarmed with butterflies lol little did i know, as days passed by, things became sour that i wondered if was it just an ordinary phase everyone was enduring as well or was it hell. "it is going to be ok sooner" i told myself. hours became days, days became weeks, and weeks became months...not a damn sign that it was gonna be ok. it became worse! i had to deal with me looking at every hot guy i saw and thinking "this is it! this is love, isnt it? were really meant for each other baby" afterwards convincing myself that it was true; i was in love, the unexpected news of pt3, the pt3 result i was told to be proud of regardless of how bad it is and the hypocrites leaving me in the end omg i could die of heartbreak if i think back of the lies they told me but im fixed to be fixed, as im always broken lol after all it was still a year, i enjoyed it nonetheless.
sigh~~ if i had the power to turn back time, id stop at when i talked to the guy i loved, for the first time. when we were both sitting on the seats (obv), overlooking our mates running at the full speed during mssd last year. the scene i oddly could still paint at the back of my mind— his lovely face. imagine how wonderful my life would be with the absence of the lover of the guy whom i thought i was destined to be with lol it must had been perfect. id live eternally in that moment.
"In order to move on, you must understand why you felt, what you did and why you no longer need to feel it."